The Hand Me Down Family

The holidays usually bring out the materialistic side in me. So far I have been happy with being the hand me down family. Our house is a modest 3br home with a nasty bathroom due to the tile falling down in the bathtub. All of it is filled with things that family has given us over the years. The 13yo tvs might not glimmer like a new shiny HDTV. And we may have to band on the vcr player to make sure it doesn't eat the tapes but hey, I have been happy with it.... until today.
I have never been one to become selfish but for some oddity I am sure feeling that this week. I'm tired of being flat broke; spending 40 dollars at the grocery store hoping that will feed this family of 6. I soo beg to be one of those lucky people that I cry myself to sleep at night. You're probably one of those lucky people and don't even know it.
What I call the lucky people are the black friday shoppers that get to go out and have fun. They can buy a new tv or a laptop; hell, maybe both. I would like to go with more than 20 dollars so that I can buy something a little better quality for my children. Trust me you don't want to know what that feels like. I want soo much with no hopes in sight. Maybe a new stove that isn't from the 60s that only has 2 working burners, be able to fix the bath/shower so the kids can enjoy their baths. What I would give to have new tvs, a blu-ray player and a camera.
My husband works 2 full time jobs. His day job is killing us. He is a mechanic and gets paid on commission; no cars, no money. His boss is starving him, starving us, to try to make him quit. Over what? Lord knows. My husband is very quiet and a hard worker and since he doesn't mix well with the others; they try to outcast him. I hope that his boss is happy living with the fact that we sometimes barely have enough in the fridge. I hope that he sits there with his favorite steak dinner and watching some stupid show on Netflix that he has made me turn ugly. I was once so grateful for what I have but now in this day; I realize that I am dirt poor,tired, and seek revenge. We slave our butts off and get nothing in return. I ask when; when will it be our turn to have a nice Christmas; when will it be our turn that we can hand things down to others instead of them being handed down to us. Lord, I just pray that day will be soon.